I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Who died my cat blue again?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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