Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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