Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
