so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
