i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
