He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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