worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I would ride that face into the sunset
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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