I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
