I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
