my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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