we're blogging at a bar
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
