That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize