Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
