I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
PS: I just woke up from my shower
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Randomize
