It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
