its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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