She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
