pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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