you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
