how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
