Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
