butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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