The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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