we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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