The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
