You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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