I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
