I swear she didn't look like that last week.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
