did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
