week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
