No stitches, just platelets and will power
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
