In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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