I hope mine doesn't look like that
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
