there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
