I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
