Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
