It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
