K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
