I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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