Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
