He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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