My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Omg I joined a choir last night...
tell me about the eggs
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
