why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
