We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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