look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
