the day after is always just damage control
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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