Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm at about main and main street
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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