Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
