Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
