I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
