I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize