How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
