exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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