last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
