please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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