I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
ttyl tear gas
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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