Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
